[22 May 2004|09:32pm] i stood on top of the world last night, and it was the best feeling ever

cause we know others dont..... [08 May 2004|08:34pm] i love you tim, for calling me and showing me what it's like to know people still think about me

i really miss you [24 Apr 2004|02:15pm] [ mood | screamer, let's fight ] [ music | glassjaw ] <--- tarica at walmart i was going to write this really long entry about what i did last night but then i realized what i did doesnt matter because i have more important thoughts in my head and the sad thing about that is i have no one to share them with since my friends are awol. the best part of last night is that i got to see amber and i love her so fucking much

[22 Apr 2004|05:41pm] one of these days i'm going to wake up, and already be smiling. one of these days im going to wake up, knowing i've held a job for longer than two months. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and feel cash in my pocket. one of these days im going to wake up, and be satisfied with the previous nights events. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and know that my mom is proud of me. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and feel responsible. one of these days im going to wake up, and my phone is going to be ringing and i'll be happy to answer it. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and know ihave a vehicle sitting outside with my name written all over it. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and not think one single thought of him all day long. one of these days i'm going to wake up and know someone loves me. one of these days im going to wake up and know that you are mine for life. one of these days i'm going to wake up, and your arms are going to be around me, holding me, keeping me safe, keeping me warm. and you'll kiss my nose. and from that day out, i know i have something to wake up to, i know i have something to wake up for.

14 still tippin [13 Apr 2004|08:03pm] [ music | keith sweat - twisted ] i saw you today and you waved at me. i looked right at you and then looked away, not waving back. toss that back in your face, i'm not here for you anymore. i'm sorry, kind of. i feel bad, since you just lost your best friend. but for me, that still isn't real. marc isn't gone, damnit. he isn't. you and i, however, are. i want to be there for you, but i always have been and you don't care. so there is nothing left to say. me and heather are talking right now about marc, and parties. and i miss him. she still has the videotapes from over a year ago and marc is in them so we are going to watch them soon. me, her, and amber. prolly bawl our eyes out but it's okay to do that, it's okay to miss him. it's okay to still deny it.

[12 Apr 2004|06:55pm] i told myself i wouldn't get online today, but here i am, listening to sad music and crying. i really love you marc, i really do. im cursing at myself for never telling you how much your friendship meant to me, and now you're gone forever. after nate's accident, i told him too right away what he meant to me because i couldnt take the chance of losing him too. luckily, he is still alive. but marc, i just wish i could see you one more time, but i cant. what have i done to myself? i push everyone and everything away, i dont express my true deep down feelings. i wish you knew that you had someone, i wish you didn't take your own life. i wish i could have stopped it, i wish i could have been there for you. i wish, i dont know. wishing isnt going to change the past week, past few days. i hope you are looking down on me, seeing me write this and knowing what is going through my head. i love you

7 still tippin [01 Apr 2004|07:23pm] [ mood | hyped up ] [ music | xtina - genie in a bottle ] i love you. i love bone thugs and harmony-ghetto cowboy. it is the best song ever and reminds me of all the nights that i was with amber and chris because we three know every word in that song, and would put it on repeat all night whenever we were together. ive never felt love like the love i have for those two. tomorrow im staying at her house, chris might stop by. we shall see. i miss amber, i havent seen her for two weeks, two weeks too long. i have money in my pocket, and it feels damn good to be a gangstah

last week before spring break, and it is so beautiful outside. [29 Mar 2004|07:17am] [ mood | sunny ] [ music | atb - i dont wanna stop ] hey there i hope everything's alright i forgot to call you in the wintertime

10 still tippin [27 Mar 2004|03:49pm] [ music | atmosphere - modern man's hustle ] not sure where to begin or where to write 'the end.' every day this week i got to see you, and you wanted me to come with this weekend but im on house arrest so that obviously couldnt happen. i love you. you stretched while you were talking to me and tarica, and i punched you twice in the chest, soft. and it was cute. things have been really weird lately, and im not sure how to explain it so i wont. i love tarica, and i love the weather right now. its beautiful outside, in the 60's. my friends are in a huge fight, and laci is more fake than ever. i watched the movie thirteen today. it was weird, i dont know what to think of it, since its based on a true story and all. im really numb to life right now, i need to get out of here.

[29 Jan 2004|05:22pm] hey mr.cold, SUCK A FAT FUCKING DICK

sum it up, mathematically [15 Dec 2003|08:27pm] [ music | deftones - digital bath ] you move like i want to to see like your eyes do we are downstairs where no one can see new life break away tonight i feel like more tonight i you make the water warm you taste foreign and i know you can see the cord break away cause tonight i feel like more tonight i feel like more tonight i feel feel like more you breathed then you stopped i breathed then dried you off and tonight i feel like more tonight.

37 still tippin [14 Dec 2003|09:30pm] comment to be added

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